Gen Z Redefines Male-Female Friendships. What It Means for Brands and Relationships Alike
Gen Z Redefines Male-Female Friendships. What It Means for Brands and Relationships Alike
As social media continues to parody the ‘guy bestfriend’ or the ‘girl bestfriend,’ often framing male-female friendships as a ticking time bomb of betrayal, it brings up the question; is this really a problem?
For generations, the question of whether or not men and women can really just be friends has been debated, treated with suspicion, and even created thousands of rom-com plots that spin the idea that friends of your preferred sex are never just friends.
But Gen Z sees it differently. Gay men are friends with men. Lesbians are just friends with other women. Nothing weird. Nothing to debate on. At the end of the day, we’re all people. And with Gen Z being so fluid in their identities, the idea of saying it is impossible to be friends with half the population feels laughable.
And yet, the internet is still touting the idea that friendships that cross genders are simply problematic. We decided to poll our Youthtellers (ages 15-27) on the topic a few weeks ago and what we found was that it isn’t so black and white. It can be messy, but it’s often mature and always (shockingly) brand-relevant.
Male-Female Friendships: Platonic or Problematic
When surveyed, our respondents told us the secret to (kind of) making this friendship work: male-female friendships have to start from a place of genuine, platonic connection. In fact, 84% told us that they currently have friends of the opposite or their preferred sex and, 75% believe these friendships can stay purely platonic.
However, it’s important to draw boundaries and not to shy away from complexities. “You can’t shy away from the tension or even avoid the personal topics you’d share with your girlfriends. Sure, be less graphic, but male friends are a great source of advice. Don’t make the friendship weird by not talking about relationships.” One 21 Y/O Youthteller in California advised.
Yet, it’s important to note that 91% of our respondents also told us that at some point with a male-female friendship, romantic feelings did develop…whether confessed or not. But when that happens? Our Youthtellers told us they valued the friendship more than acting on those emotions.
The Marketing Edge: Relationship Realism Over Romance Fantasy
When it comes to businesses in the wellness, media, or relationship industries, if you’re looking to market using information about friendships, include male-female relationships with just the right amount of nuance. Not every friendship is destined to become a relationship. Often, these are just friends processing relationships and work drama over some ice cream or venting about family dynamics. They’re not making Spotify playlists about each other or secretly in love.
If you’re really looking to resonate with Gen Z, tap into the fact that friend groups can and often do have different genders. Help to normalize deep emotional friendships without any romantic feelings attached.
Trust > Control
When it comes to male-female friendships, Gen Z is comfortable and understanding…until they're in a romantic relationship. This is when the parodies come in. And some double standards. When asked about her partner having female friends, one Youthteller told us, “ABSOLUTELY NOTTTT okay maybe I could, but my bf has no reason to want other super close female friends.” — 22 Y/O in Cedar Falls.
Others found themselves offended by this question. They’re bi, why would who you’re friends with matter? But the common thread here isn’t about having friends of the opposite gender or preferred sex. It’s about trust. Gen Z doesn’t care who their partners are friends with; they care about transparency, boundaries, and accountability. This is why 18% say they’re comfortable with partners having friends of their preferred gender, but that it depends on the context.
So… Can Men and Women Really Be Friends?
Gen Z’s answer is largely yes. LGBTQIA+ respondents were especially vocal, pointing out that assuming tensions exist only between straight men and women erases queer friendships, and that they are tired of seeing this pattern in ads, movies, and TV shows.
The premise that there is or could be tension in these friendships was also heavily frowned upon, with 68% saying these friendships felt like siblings, and one Youthteller going into detail, saying, “It’s not that deep. If you find a good person, the pronouns they use and the equipment they’re packing are irrelevant.” – 22 Y/O in Apple Valley, CA
What Gen Z Wishes More Brands + People Understood
When asked about what they want others to understand about male-female friendships, the most common answers were:
Platonic relationships are real and valid
Boundaries must be respected when people are in romantic relationships
Not everything is about sex
It’s about the individual, not their gender
And when it came down to brands, Gen Z wants you to know that when you show male-female friendships, you’re not just reflecting reality, but values. Showing genuine friendships between men and women, or queer friendships, highlights trust, emotional depth, and fluidity. So drop the idea of constant tension in friendships or only marketing to one gender friend groups. Gen Z is tired of it.